Anxiety

I've always read and learned about the experience of anxiety, so understand the concept academically. But yesterday, I think I actually had that experience myself. My head won't stop racing with all that is going on right now, and i worry and worry and it makes my stomach hurt. Yesterday I had to sit quietly in the car before work and make myself breathe deeply in and out for about 10 minutes to make it stop.

Trying to plan for upcoming insemination. I hate the uncertainty and just want to be organised! But of course, that is impossible given that my body will do exactly as it pleases, and most probably and the most inconvenient time possible. And we'll just have to deal with it.

I feel really positive about this month despite all the ifs. Temping has given me a sense of empowerment, and seems to have taken a lot of the guess work out of things. So IF we manage to anticipate ovulation correctly, IF we can deal with the logistics of getting J down here, IF we can fit inseminations in amongst work and Princess, IF we manage to pull all that off, I feel that it may just be our month.

I really hope so because the prospect of clinics and doctors and injections and all of that really doesn't sound like much fun.