Daring to hope

It's 12 DPO and I'm experiencing some symptoms:

• Major Skin break out (but that could have been all the junk at christmas before we cracked down on diet),
• Incredibly sore breasts (I have to keep asking Princess to be careful and trying to explain why just prompted a whole discussion on menstrual cycles - without the possible pregnancy bit though)
• Increased awareness of my body
• Extreme fatigue (but that could be the extreme heat - above 42 degrees (that's about 105 F) for the last three days
  

Also good things on my chart:

• Spotting on DPO 10 (New Year's Eve too!)
• Temperature dip on DPO 9 then return to higher temps on next day.
• Temps staying high (so far)

So we're cautiously optimistic. But from experience, my body is extremely good at fooling us, making us all excited about the possibility, then letting us down in a huge blow of disappointment.

There's other weird things too - LB says i smell different, i've coped far better with the heat that i usually would (especially given we were camping in a tent by the river for the worst of it), and am just feeling laid back and vague and relaxed. But that all could just be due the fact that i've now had almost two weeks holidays, for the first time in 2 years....

So many possible symptoms, so many alternative explanations. I hate the second guessing of the TWW. And i really hate waiting. My period is supposedly due on Sunday. That's 4 days away. FF says not to test until the 9th - that's a whole week away. I wonder if I can resist the temptation to test for that long.... It's so conflicted though. I want to test for the small possibility that it might show the coveted two lines, but I really don't want to see that horrible white expanse that means that it's all over again for another month....